Running a lawn care business can be a rough path to take when you are also trying to balance a relationship. It gets even dicier when the person you are in a relationship with is not on board and supportive of you being a business owner. As we will see from this discussion on the Gopher Lawn Care Business Forum, the choice you make for a girlfriend or wive can have a huge impact on you and your business.
One lawn care business owner wrote “my girlfriend left me today. She and I have been having all these messed up problems lately. We’ve been through a lot only to think of it as becoming stronger. We’ve had a few scares this winter but the time has come.
I feel awfully crappy right now, and it’ll probably suck even more later on. It’s weird, it’s seems as though when we patch up our differences, I get into this ‘comfortable’ mode and I least expect it when she goes all crazy again.
In a way I do see it as my fault. I bring all my frustrations from work right into my every day life. If I see something out of place it comes natural to me to just force it right, and I never take no for an answer. That may help me with running my lawn care business but it seems damaging to my personal relationships.
In general I enjoy meeting my girlfriend’s parents. But it seems they always want to know more about my business and once they start trying to interfere with my life it gets really annoying. I eventually see them the same way I see my annoying lawn care customers.
A lot of girls I’ve been with have been beautiful, but come from a family of lazy underachievers and I don’t like to be judged by those who are too lazy to better themselves for their family and who are nowhere as fortunate as me with my efforts. Basically, I have seen these ‘in-laws’ living in filth, trying to save money by using generators instead of paying for electricity etc… the list goes on, and I don’t mind as long as they don’t judge me and stay out of my business.
My ex’s mother judged me all the time, so I told her exactly why her career choice was failing and it really hit home. You can’t be in real estate and live in a home with holes in the roof, broken windows and half of a garage door for 10+ years - with a mailbox stapled to a ‘For Sale’ sign.
She drives around to meet her potential real estate clients with no bumpers on her car and plenty of visible rust. If she took a few minutes out of her day to maintain her own property, I would have no problem and would have shut my mouth - she’d be making an effort!!!!
Which leads to another reason why my ex left me, because I despised her family. At first I loved to help them out and try to bond, then it became a full time job itself because they weren’t able to do anything on their own, I found myself trying to fix everything on their property.
I was with her for a long time so I have grown attached. It’s the time in my life everyone starts getting pregnant & married, everyone is serious and it’s time to prepare for the future. I really wanted to do well with my lawn care business so that we could be happier in time, though I have always made an effort to focus on the present. I never got to the point of thinking about marriage or anything too crazy, but the fact is, you gotta work hard in this world to get nice things! She didn’t understand the way I was thinking, she’s one of those, ‘money grows on trees’ type of people.
When we’d talk about money, it’d anger her. Only because she’s the one spending all of it, while I’m here saying, ‘hey listen, we need to live off of that and need to save it.’ So over the last few months we weren’t able to save any of ‘my’ money, as usual because of her spending habits and I knew this had to change.
I gotta make one thing clear, she understood our money issue, though the way she felt because of it was too strong/negative to think logically, so now it’s over.”
A second lawn care business owner shared “my last girl I dated despised my lawn care business, so I guess I’m just waiting to find one that would be on board with what I’m doing. I think we ALL (especially us younger guys) get in this slump. I worked for home security installation company before I went full time in lawn care and property maintenance….and I didn’t date much because I was out of town ALL the time. Soon as I went into business for myself, initially it was fine… dated steady and such, but then the classic line I’ve heard all my working life began to pop up ‘your business is cutting into our time, this isn’t going to work’ and it was like a slap in the face. I’m self-employed doing commercial and residential lawn care work, running my own business, and I get slandered for it.
Since then, I’ve done short term dating, but never got too serious, I just don’t have the time…and can’t find anyone who understands that lifestyle anyway. I LOVE the lawn care business, the pay is good, the jobs are always interesting, but if I ever get married…I’d rather it be to someone who wants in on this action whether it be in the field, or the office…(hopefully running the office.) anyway…. I know where you all are coming from, and all I got to say is… the business was here first.”
A third lawn care business owner said “I am a few years ahead of you guys and made some mistakes along the way that I hope you all can avoid. If you are having problems with a girlfriend now, don’t go ahead and get married thinking that it will resolve something because it won’t. It will only amplify the problems. My first wife and I really didn’t have anything in common. My second wife is great as we both work together running our lawn care business together. Her in an office and me out in the field. We are both on the same page and work together. We can vent to each other and we understand what the other is going through.
Keep you head up and you will meet your little lawn mower girl one day. Don’t settle for something that isn’t working for you and don’t try to force something to fit that isn’t.”
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